


Last

by plsnskanks (orphan_account)



Category: Awful Hospital (Webcomic)
Genre: Fern (Awful Hospital), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 19:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13958565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/plsnskanks
Summary: just a little last moment for crash





	Last

He remembers. Kind of.

He remembers he's forgotten which means he can see the space of what's missing but not remember the warmth of it being there. He can just feel the outline of something long gone so many layers ago he can't even begin to reach back.

He remembers though. Through the sorting of files, Crash get this, Crash fetch that, Crash pull this. Through watching the hospital's mounting failures, the feeling of things falling apart at already loose seams and knowing there’s nothing that’s going to reverse that course. Through the insanity and the mundanity, he remembers.

He remembers someone used to care.

He can't remember who though and he knows why and that is a dusty, staticky memory of that blue thing dragging them out beyond the wall into nonexistence. Putting the singular being he shared an understanding with into a heap to rot with the others. 

Someone used to care. Someone who no longer exists. 

And isn't that just perfect. It really is. It has his name written all over it, it really does. He can identify the pain and the source but not a way to fix it and it's like that he becomes just like that green thing’s crotch spawn.

Helpless. Hopeless. Floating in a void of meaningless unable to die until someone decides to give him a shove in the direction of nonexistence. 

But the difference between him and crotch spawn is, no one is fighting for him. Maybe that's what makes it easy to break every bone in the blue whelp's body and not feel a shred of remorse.

The last shot he had and this thing took it away from him. Its almost funny, how little redeeming qualities an entity could have, he’s pretty sure they’ve hit maximum uselessness with this one. More so than any limbless snot spewing, slime dribbling entity that resides here. According to his journal that other grey zone being that he dragged out to put with the others so many layers ago, the one named “Karen”-

She used to mean something to him too. So Crash enjoyed that. Watching him hack her to pieces and throw them one by one out beyond the wall. And then angst over the distorted memories in his journal the very next day.

The only thing that gave him momentary respite from his miserable existence is knowing the being responsible for contributing to it was suffering in much the same way. So he's content for a bit to just watch Jay scramble around cutting up bits of the hospital, occasionally other patients, maybe getting spared by the kidney stone monster a few times before the green one came along and killed it.

The green one. Ah. What a game changer, that one.

He hates it.

The way it looks at him with those sad eyes and that stupid determination. There's actual progress being made with that one and he can't stand it.

The fact she has the will to try. As if that will make a difference. As if anything in this hospital can make a difference to what they're hurtling to at an unstoppable and terrifying speed.

He's seen it. He knows. That thing she's fighting tooth and nail for, it isn't even worth it. The most genuine thing he's said in a hundred or so layers is when he tells her it won't be worth it.

And because she is something he cannot fathom she smiles at him with that same stupid sad look he'd love to cut off her face and says she has to try.

Like giving up isn't even an option. The world is going slower, he thinks, the Green thing... Fern... when she blinks he processes it like it's a whole second going by instead of the split second it really is. He's getting bogged down in something, he can feel his very self being tugged somewhere, nowhere, precisely both at the same time and there isn't really even time for him to process all this so he's asking Fern the last thing he can.

Because it strikes him that maybe the thing that existed once and doesn't anymore, maybe it's a lot like Fern. Maybe he had someone like that once, who wouldn't be letting this happen, wouldn't have let him slip into this agony layer after layer after layer a f t e r....

He thinks maybe, when Fern wins, if you want to call it that, he feels something close to relief. He looks at that putrid green face and maybe it's a little less rancid than it usually seems to be. He can feel parts of himself coming apart, as if every wire within him is fraying on it's own. As if the very bits that make him up are freezing and coming to a halt.

He's still looming over her and it occurs to him that, yes he could kill her in these last moments. Start this whole ordeal over. Or at least set her back a bit. Get his one last dig at no one in particular. 

Drag her closer to the pit of hopelessness and despair he himself resides in.

But he gets the feeling it wouldn't do much in terms of dashing her spirit and the heavy weight sets in that he has lost not because he wasn't smarter, or better or stronger than Fern. He was all of those things.

He lost because she wanted it more. Because she never gave up.

And he gave up on everyone else in this hospital including himself a long time ago. Especially himself.

If he could process what he was feeling at all he's sure it would be pure terror but right now it's all going so slowly he doesn't know what he feels or really even thinks, he just knows he has a question so he asks.

He asks. And like that Fern is alone in a room with a blank cracked monitor on a fleshy mound of death.


End file.
